i just had sex bonerless
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Randomize
