Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
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