There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
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