i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
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Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
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but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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