my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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