And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize