apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
