Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
