a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
