Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
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I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
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I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
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