girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
