you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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