Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize
