are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
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