If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Never joke about your clitoris.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Randomize
