pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Randomize
