My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
handjob tips. give me some.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
