I just cut my nipple shaving
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
Randomize
