'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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