just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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