Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
did i just pee glitter
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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