FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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