90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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