I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
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