I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Randomize
