I want you more than these girls want KFC
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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