who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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