i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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