so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
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