I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize
