this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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