But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Randomize
