You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
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i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
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i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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