people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
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