I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Randomize
