sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
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he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
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I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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