i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
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