I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
tell me about the eggs
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
