She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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