He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
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