Please, let me fuck your mom
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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