i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Randomize
