Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I just found puke in my bra..
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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