taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
