All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
