the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Apparently you make a good broom.
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
