grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
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