what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
