Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
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