I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Randomize
