I'm really into asian looking animals
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
