The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Randomize
