How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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