You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
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