dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Are we still banned from the library?
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
