she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Randomize
