I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
