We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
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