You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
