I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
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