im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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