I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize