Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Randomize
